Sunday:
Sunday was a powerful day. After mass I hopped into a van with the other students and we went to a small village/town called Amatlan. On the way I was speaking with our driver about the pilgrimage right now going on that passes through Cuernavaca to Chalma. It is an ancient ritual which again exhibits the overlay of Catholic faith onto indigenous traditions. Chalma has been known for being a place of healing, most recently associated with the works of either a specific saint or Mary Magdalene (sorry I can't remember). Anyway, campesinos travel for days across the state of Morelos to go. They go on foot with backpacks, and sometimes accompanied by a large farm truck which carries some of the children or cooking supplies. More often than not, they are welcomed in the homes of the towns through which they pass: given shelter and buying food from readied vendors. I am planning to go with a friend of mine from class sometime during Lent! yay!
Anyway, in Amatlan we were talking to an indigenous man who has received an education and now works for the municipal (equivalent of the county) offices. He gave us a great account of the history of conquest in Mexico, leading up to the most recent land rights disputes and difficulties. Afterward, our class was welcomed into his sister-in-law's home who cooked us AMAZING sopapillas! SO GOOD! They have corn whose seed is thousands of years old and I just can't describe how wonderful the flavor is...
Then, we hiked back to a place where two large rocks formed a cave. It is a sacred place as the north (the far side of the cave) is the place of the dead, and the good spirits would only be allowed to flow back toward the city. We participated in part of an ancient ceremony of his people, and it was, to say the very least beautiful. Their cosmovision is remarkable and so peaceful. It emphasizes unity, balance, equilibrium and the fundamental value of life. I wish I had time and proper words to describe this more thoroughly, but right now I do not. What I can say is that I believe these cultures, these practices should never be lost. If our earth, our livelihood is to survive, I truly believe that humans will have to reconsider what they value, what they feel is important and essential to our being. I finally found a place where my own values, so simple yet so rarely expressed in pop culture, abounded in this beautiful space.

weekending

So, it's Monday morning, but I had such a long weekend that I feel that I should at least try to give some highlights of what happened.

Friday was such a relief! I still had a fever but felt decent. My Spanish test was alright and class was interesting. I am looking forward to this week because we will be focusing on conversation more than new material. yay! After class I went to the pharmacy for my antibiotics and then came home and slept for an hour. Then woke up and called Katie O. It was nice to talk to her for an hour; usually I can't have long phone conversations because there are other people waiting in line. After dinner we were celebrating one of our classmate's birthday's with a pinata! Little did we know there was a terra cotta pot underneath all of that paper when we began. It took some effort to break that thing, but we succeeded!(picture 3) After some fun and (drinking) games, which I was not interested in, mi amiga de baile y yo left for Samana. We just wanted to dance! We reached Samana, but thought the cover charge was more than the rest of our group (to join us later) would have liked. So, we went to Guantanamera. Overall, it was a fun night of dancing and chatting with Cuernavacans.

Saturday: I woke up and checked my e-mails, excited to start working on my practicum placement materials for next year. I didn't get very far, but my roommate told me she might join me in Patzcuaro for part of our spring break, which would be nice. Rachel and I went to the gym to lift weights and as we were walking out, she dropped her watch down the stairwell. It landed behind the water tank, so I crawled over the rail and stretched over the tank to reach an arm down and grab it. I was filthy literally from head to toe (picture 2). I felt even more noticeable than usual walking home from the gym with her that day! A tall blonde in gym clothes...covered in dirt. nice. I showered and did some homework. Mi amiga met and has known a few young fellows here for several weeks. I met them also the second week we were here. She asked me if I wanted to go with her and the boys to Samana because we all had wanted to go dancing together sometime. I wasn't going to miss that offer! I headed to Il Centro but had no luck finding a dress. I did however, manage to be caught in a bit of a windstorm on the walk home. I liked the wind, but I wasn't fond of the dirt flying off the sidewalk into my face. It was disgusting. By the time I reached home it had started to rain and I couldn't have been happier! I twirled and twirled in our little courtyard at home! beautiful! I napped and then woke up and visited with the group and got ready to go (picture 1). The boys picked us up and we drove to Samana. It was a lot of fun. We just visited and danced and visited and danced. It is really incredible to be sitting there speaking in Spanish and to actually be able to hold a conversation! I am seeing progress and that makes life here more interesting and more manageable, not to mention, more authentic. We drove home and the boys (all three are cousins who have grown up together) were rocking out to Mexican love songs! Mi amiga whispered to me in English "I think I just realized that I am in Mexico." yes. we are in Mexico. The greatest dance of the night was when we got home. The driver left the car doors open and turned up the Banda (which is kind of the equivalent of Mexican polka or Mexican hillbilly music) and we danced in the street! Luckily not many of the students had returned from their evening adventures yet. It was pretty hilarious. We had had background checks on the boys (from a few of our local staff who seem to have this sort of information for us) so weren't just winging it when we decided to go out with them. Mi amiga is pretty fluent in Spanish too, so we don't have problems speaking our mind. Not like we had to though. They are very interesting young men and also have very good manners. By the time mi amiga and I had debriefed over some chocolate ice cream, it was 3 o'clock in the morning. I tried to sleep before waking up for mass and 7:30.

Though I have already come to terms with the fact that I really am in Mexico , today I had a few more affirmations. As usual, I woke up and tried to go walking, but that didn't last long. I was really not feeling well. I studied a bit and went to class when I realized that I was already burning with fever. As class went on I began trembling, and when I tried to answer a question on the board I swayed as if I was close to fainting. It really felt awful. I do not like to be sick, nor do I like to admit that I am sick. However, Dad voiced his concern with my ongoing condition, I finally submitted to the sickness and left our SOCW lab early to go to the urgent care clinic at Bella Vista Hospital. Welcome to Mexico Alysson. You have a bacterial infection in your instentines. Oh goody!

I am really not to worried about it. I will just have to take some antibiotics. I figure this is part of the authentic experience of living in Mexico. Even the doctor's prescription was a prime example: antiobiotics for the bacteria, antacids because the antibiotic might upset my stomach, and another drug for the fever. In other words: taking drugs for the effects of other drugs. I can't take antacids because of my antimalaria drugs and I'm pretty sure some acetaminophen will take care of the fever, as would water and sleep. And, for your information, I have embibed at least 96 oz. of water today from my waterbottle plus multiple cups of tea :) While I feel positive about treating this now, there are several other students who have the same symptoms and I know that we will continue to share our bacteria for the rest of the quarter. Also, when we move into our homestays a week from tomorrow we will face a whole new set of germs. Though it may sound pessimistic, I think I could be sick in some way this entire trip. Let's hope not.

Another affirming authentic experience of Mexico I had today was my sporadic trip to mass with a friend of mine. She and I had been studying here in the library and at 6:15 she asked me, "Do you want to go to mass?" I didn't know there was a daily evening mass, so I asked, "When?" Mass "starts" at 6pm, but of course that translates to about 6:20, so we were right on time. Turns out it was the night of adoration to the Eucharist! Having never attended such a service before I was so pleased for our sporadic decision. It was a beautiful service and then time for reflection and adoration with intervals of silence and song. And, it was lead by a nun, which was delightful because while the majority of celebrants are female, they have a very small presence in church leadership of any kind. Heaven knows I love any encounter with nuns. As we reflected I again had that beautiful and consoling feeling wash over me: THIS is why I am in Mexico. I can sense the sincere and rich faith of the people here and yet it is still so delicate. It is just so fascinating to be in a place where faith in God, in the Trinity, and in the love of God for us is part of the cosmovision of the culture. My adventures in spirituality have been impressive and this is only the beginning!

I have been studying since then and am now going to try to sleep so I can study some more before our exam tomorrow. It has been a gruelling week and I am so ready for Friday. I was sad to miss my class tonight, but I will hopefully make up for it this weekend. The adoration was not only much more important, but much more fulfilling. I am happy that I am learning to be spontaneous, and to take each day one moment at a time. It is good practice of living in the present. And, as Fr.Jack wisely advised me: The ego of man makes him dwell in time, which is either in the past or the future. Only when we put aside our ego and stop thinking about ourselves can we hear what God is saying. Then we will be living with God and can truly love others. Amidst everything else I am learning here, I hope that I continue to learn how to be less selfish and more generous in loving.

Peace,
aly

Collosians 3:12-15
As the chosen of God, then, the holy people whom he loves, you are to be clothed in heartfelt compassion, in generosity and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other if one of you has a complaint against another. The Lord has forgiven you; now you must do the same. Over all these clothes, put on love, the perfect bond. And may the peace of Christ reign in your hearts, because it is for this that you were called together in one body. Always be thankful.

So, the day started early with the sound of footsteps pounding up the steel stairwell up to our Interns' room and shouting from a couple of students: "Somebody has a gun!" Followed by running through our two story house from our interns as students entered the front door talking frantically.

First of all: nobody was hurt. Thank God that all they wanted was money. Here is a brief rendition of what occurred: Several students had gone out last night and returned in groups of 2-3 several minutes apart. The last group (two females, one male) was walking back to our house at 2:20 am and were approached and surrounded by 2-3 (assumed to be) local men. They asked the male student for all he had, holding him at gunpoint. Though he contends it was a fake gun, he immediately gave them his wallet and camera. The men left, and the students entered our house. This took place in front of our Spanish school, two doors down the street. Our staff immediately responded, checking in with each students, calling our director who contacted local police, and also called in our nightwatchman (who usually doesn't work on Tuesday). Though today we were all shaken and a little tired from the disturbance, we are all aware that the situation could have been much worse. At the very least, I think this will make all of us as cautious as we really should be here. Other actions our school has taken in response:
1. debriefing with us as a group, discussing again proper safety precautions
2. purchasing 5 cell phones for the group to take with them when they go out, with speed dial for emergency contact and the taxi company
3. they are forming an alliance with a reliable local taxi company whose drivers will know our home location and will have set prices for us from common locations in the city when we call them.
4. re-issuing emergency contact cards for us to take with us when we go out (in addition to the phone)
5. night watchmen will be guarding the house, and are visible from the street 7 days/week
6. local authorities, our community priest, other language schools, and our neighbors have been notified.
This all seems very formal, but I want you to know that we really are safe and have every reason to remain safe. This crime, though unfortunate, could have occurred in any city anywhere in the world. It also could have probably been avoided if the students had simply used a radio-cab. I am also very careful not to put myself in situations of heightened danger in my daily activities, so please, do not worry.

As you could probably imagine, we were all a little tired and depressed today, concerned for our classmates more than anything I think. But, class went on at Universal. It is a lot this week and I was going between being really frusterated and having a giggle-fit in class. Oh, and it was really hot today, which didn't help our efforts to stay awake.
lunch-actually I went to the gym because a meeting was scheduled to discuss the aforementioned safety measures tonight when I had planned to go.
I made a quick-change and rushed into a meeting with a speaker who came earlier this semester. It was kind of repetitive and I don't think any of us really were engaged in the class.
However, I was very engaged in the next class: salsa at Universal! Turns out, the teacher that was called in is the same who we will see tomorrow at Guantanamera (the salsa club)...so that's kind of exciting.
dinner. meeting. homework. calling my parents. here.
I know I have said this before, but I will again: days here are very long, very full, and there is always something unexpected to be expected. I am really tired, and I think we have decided not to go to Taxco this weekend, which is kind of a relief. I am becoming nervous about my urban homestay situation too. That transition takes place after next week and finals at Universal.

I continue to have moments where I just sit in awe at the fact that I am even here. I feel some incredibly blessed to have this opportunity. The student who was robbed told me today that he had a premonition that this would happen. He accepted that this is a part of the experience of living in this sort of environment. I was impressed with his wisdom, that we both wanted to know what insecurity felt like, that we both had realized how easy are lives were at home in the states, and had a desire to know what it felt like to be stripped of our privileges we inherit by our nationality, status, etc.

I ask for your prayers for him in particular, but also for those throughout the world who turn to criminal activity to support their livelihood. While it can feel degrading to be robbed, it is also dehumanizing to be in such a circumstance that would make committing a crime against our fellow brothers and sisters seem a viable choice. Pray for peace. Pray for healing, unity, and for love to prevail in our lives and in our actions.

Collosians 3:12-15
As the chosen of God, then, the holy people whom he loves, you are to be clothed in heartfelt compassion, in generosity and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other if one of you has a complaint against another. The Lord has forgiven you; now you must do the same. Over all these clothes, put on love, the perfect bond. And may the peace of Christ reign in your hearts, because it is for this that you were called together in one body. Always be thankful.

I woke up and quickly dressed to go for my morning walk today. It seems Marianne and I have a new roommate! He's cute though right? I actually don't know where he is at the moment (or that he is a "he"). My roommate was sleeping though and I didn't want to make a ruckus trying to capture an incredibly fast little lizard crawling up the wall at 6:30 in the morning. There are definitely worse things to wake up to, and I was happy to have something to laugh about! :)

I walkie-talkied (because that's what girls do!) for 45 minutes and then hit the books before class. I am working on my application for next year's practicum placement and forms for my upcoming urban homestay besides all my Spanish homework...no rest for the wicked I guess...

Anyway, had class at Universal. I am enjoying it more and more, feeling more and more confident in my ability to accurately express what I want to say. It's kind of amazing. It will be really amazing three months from now too. During our break I did laundry. I have yet to tire of hand-washing and line drying. It gives me another opportunity to sing to myself, and singing is prayer twice over. Food for the soul. By the way, lavanderias around here use some seriously perfumed detergent (another reason I am happy to wash my own clothes).

After class, we had lunch, made plans for Taxco this Friday and Saturday and enjoyed some very good flan. Then we had a little Spanish survey/meeting and I studied, studied, studied. Oh! And don't let me forget the highlight of my day: MY GLUCOMETER HAS BEEN REPLACED! I literally squealed with joy and happy-danced around the dining room! It was AMAZING. What a relief too! Now, I just pray to God nothing will happen to this one.

I attended my first community base-group meeting today with the esposo de mi cocinera who I go to church with (sorry for the Spanglish; it happens a lot). It was very interesting. Today, we reflected on the meaning of friendship in our lives and how it relates to reign of God on Earth. We read relative scripture passages and had discussion. I probably understood about 60% of what was said, and tried to contribute. They were all very nice, but I did notice that it was one man who led the group and seven women who were responding. In other words, still very traditional. I haven't the knowledge or authority to make any judgements, just an observation. Then we ate dulces, muchos y muchos dulces, which I had to decline because 1. I am diabetic 2. I was about to go to the gym...ew.

Our hostess' husband had returned while we were meeting and he offered to drive us back to the school. That was interesting. Again, I realized how much we, as Americans, invest in our appearance. The car worked, don't get me wrong, but it certainly was beyond the consideration of a salesman at a used-car lot in the U.S. To be honest, I enjoyed it. Things like vehicles and status symbols of that sort just aren't as important here. What was important was that they were on their way to a concert in Il Centro. Good priorities.

I practically ran to aerobics, which was just a jump start on the workout. eh! Marisol (our instructor) is a young, fiesty little thing and I adore her. Walked home to more cat-calling, ate dinner, showered (yay! I had water to shower in my bathroom today!) and now I am here. I still need to review some notes before bed.

Tomorrow and Thursday I have salsa classes....my outlook for the future is improving rapidly.

Peace,

aly

*sigh* Someday I would like to know what "good health" feels like in Mexico. I am surprised that I am still sick after two weeks. And it's nothing serious enough to seek treatment, it's just annoying and a bit of a damper on my energy and enthusiasm more than anything.

Great news! I have a morning walking buddy! One of my classmates and I took a nice power-walk this morning and clucked like hens around San Anton. What a difference it makes to have a partner.
More Spanish class today and I felt like my brain was going to collapse from exhaustion. Learning a different language is kind of funny, because it seems like it should be easy, but really so much is contextual that it's really a different mode of thought than I am used to. I look forward to the day when it just "flows." Right now, it is more like "trudging along." But, the idea of Spanish someday seeming simple gives me hope.
I bought my first jewelry item today on my break at school: beautiful hand-carved wooden earrings brought to us by a local artisan. I didn't bring jewelry with me, except my AIDs bracelet and my Mary pendant, so it was fun (in a materialistic sort of way) to have something new.
Lunch, debriefing of the Embassy trip, and I am having fevers, nausea and feeling like I need to have the pressure drained out of my brain. It's not entirely pleasant, but I've been through worse and am not going to dwell on something that I can't change in this exact moment.
I talked to Sakshi today (more like rambled off some of my recent frusteration and insecurities). I am so glad that I can talk to people back home, but feel awful that I haven't been too positive these days. As I have said, I am not defeated and I am quite certain that I am learning a lot, which probably explains the fatigue and lack of clarity to some extent. One day, I will make sense of this, and if not, I still believe this is good for me.
I have been studying for almost three hours and am looking forward to a brutal aerobics class.
More than anything, I am looking forward to some decent sleep tonight...
Peace.

Today I just did not want to be in Mexico. I refuse to admit that I am homesick, because I think that would be a misdiagnosis. I am not "homesick," I just would have preferred to be in Seattle today: running down to the pier to listen to the waves break and see the sun glisten on the water, reading in cafe sipping on a deep Americano and enjoying a biscotti, or going to the market to buy produce from my favorite stand and returning to "play" in my kitchen while dancing around to music. I just miss the life I had in Seattle. Cuernavaca is very different, and that is an understatement. Don't misinterpret me, I have a good lifestyle here, but it is just not the lifestyle that I am 1. used to 2. would choose to live out forever. I tried to find the one "chill" cafe where I could do homework and maybe even drink some decent coffee, but ended up walking aimlessly and returning with a sunburn. great. And I didn't find the cafe. I did however stop in at the cathedral and they had a printed schedule of today's mass including the mass parts in Spanish.

I joined Tere, her husband, and one other classmate for mass this morning, but was feeling nauseas and coughing. I was saddened by the fact that what was once the most wonderful part of my week has become I strain as I have to think so hard just to translate the readings and homily. And I am practically mute in these masses because I don't yet know the prayers, mass parts, and they have no song books so I can't sing either. That's not good. Tere did introduce us to the priest though who invited us (my classmate and I) to help with an English class for the local kids as two young boys clambered into our circle and jovially agreed, tugging on his robe. He teased back. It was hilarious, but I still left feeling sad.

I understand that it will take a long time for me to adjust and have accepted that I could never be a "local" here. Fine. That is not my intention. I just didn't want to "keep on trying" today. I just wanted to feel comfortable and competent in my environment. I believe I am making progress in establishing roots here though, having joined a gym, hopefully found a service placement at Don Bosco, being invited to help at our church, and attending mass with Tere.

The past two days have just not been too wonderful. I have felt more sick all over and I know that I am fighting something because I can't keep my blood-sugar levels down. Luckily, I had a lot of down time to read, do homework, and today I even had a massage. It was amazing to say the least! I am not a "sit and relax" type of person, and anyone who knows me can attest to that as pure fact about my personality. However, I always wanted to know what it was like to be still and to enjoy leisure time while knocking a few books off my "to read" list. Funny how when I'm busy I crave free time, and when I have free time I want to be busy. Oh humans, they are just never satisfied...By about 6pm tonight I was beginning to appreciate the fact that I had been lounging around in my pajamas for a good portion of the day and that I was about to head into a massage. This is part of the learning experience: appreciating life in the moment, for all that that moment holds. To do so may require me to slow down my pace a little bit and actually take a breath and prioritize people over tasks. That would be the purpose of life, no? Adjustment is a process and it takes time. It feels like freshman year of college in a way: knowing that there is so much that I could/want to do, but not knowing what I want to commit myself to.

Peace,
aly

Things I Have Learned About Mexico

Some things I have learned about Mexico thus far:

"Ha, ha, ha...yeah...Nothing really works." -My RA

*Water, electricity, phone lines, and the internet come and go as they please.

*Medical supplies, especially diabetic testing supplies are inconsistent.

*Bourganvilias grow everywhere. They can be trailing along a fenceline, a small little bush, or the size of a tree. They come in all different colors: crimson red, pale peach, bright fushia, dark purple, or blush pink.

*The smallest bugs have the worst bite. I didn't even see the dumb things but I woke up tearing at my skin the next night.

*There are some HUGE bees in this country.

*There is a little old man that sits on the front porch of his "Abarrotes" shop (a convenience store) almost all day every day across the street. I would like to sit and talk with him sometime.

* Mexican people enjoy driving, and they drive like crazy folk-but I have yet to see an accident or be hit by a vehicle myself.

* Taxi drivers are probably the nicest people I've met in public thus far.

*Taxi drivers will flash their lights, honk there horn, do the slow-creep besides you, or wave frantically from the front seat to see if you need a ride.

*Music and TV are popular-go figure.

*Our neighbors next to school play really great music, really loudly almost 24 hours a day.

*There are various pick-up lines from men here. Some of my favorites include:

"Tienes un novio" Do you have a boyfriend

"Ah! Bonita!" Oh, Beautiful!

"I love you! Marry me!"

"What, do you have a problem with Americans dating Mexicans?" That one really was

ineffective for them.

*Seemingly random neighborhood parades happen and the band will stop and play for you if you seem interested (see picture above).

*Tiles here are very pretty, and some of the best are in bathrooms! (see picture above).

Ah, the weekend. In some ways I am surprised and other ways not surprised at all that I still wake up at 6:30am on weekends. I guess somethings never change. I will probably always be a morning person, but I love mornings! I never tire of watching sunrise over the hill and the old cathedral on the next hill which I see from the window of the study.

Our Spanish exams went well, at least for me. My teacher told me I need to talk more-that's a first! I used to get in trouble for talking to much in class, but that wasn't Spanish. She is right though-I do need to talk more and I know that. Luckily I have two more weeks to practice, make mistakes, and be corrected. Hopefully I won't be so shy from now on.

After class we hurriedly loaded the vans and headed to the Embassy. Mexico City is huge! There is no other way to describe it. Once I recovered from the carsickness from the drive over, I really enjoyed being in a vital city again. The longer we stood outside the front door, the more I missed Seattle and wished I could be back in a city. I love the energy, the forward momentum, the sense of life that is in cities. However, I remain pleased that we are stationed in Cuernavaca. D.F. is so polluted, we couldn't even see the sky! The mixture of smoke and smog created a hot hazy atmosphere that was stifling and made our eyes sting.

We had a panel for about 2 hours with different federal officers. It was fascinating. They told us about their position, their responsibilities, and their opinion on the current state of affairs in Mexico and U.S.A.-Mexico relations from their perspective. I was actually impressed with their honesty and their adherence to answering our questions. I expected them to try to dodge some of our more critical questions about immigration policy, the visa process, NAFTA, drug cartelling, and military involvement. While the Dept. of Agriculture and the Economic reps. did give strictly positive opinions, they at least acknowledged that in any "negotiation" (as they consider NAFTA to be a negotiation), there will always be winners and losers. From their perspective though, the gains for both countries, and for the Mexican economy especially in the past 14 years has outweighed the losses. I think their perspective has excluded rural Mexico and those who are not in the "consumer" bracket of socio-economic status (that is, those living in poverty or barely scraping by).

I think our scholars benefited immensely from hearing what representatives of the U.S. Government said about the visa process and matters of immigration. Our exposure this far was from the perspective of migrants, which is good too. But I think it is vital that we as professionals and future social workers and policy makers understand both perspectives and have first-hand resources for both sides of the debate. Since I can't tell you everything we discussed I will tell you what stood out most to me:

* Their appreciation of their position and their sincere desire to serve to improve relationships between both the countries and the people of Mexico and the U.S.A.

* Their cultural competency and appreciation of the Mexican culture. So often, U.S. Americans and officials are made out to be heartless enemies. These men, especially the Visa processor really expressed that they want to do as much as possible to ease the process and allow movement between the two countries. They clarified that it is just a legal process and that U.S.A. has the right to enforce such laws for it's own protection. However, they also gave details of the process and emphasized that there is no quota against Mexicans entering the U.S. to visit.

*Their understanding of the grave situation of drug-cartelling, and that this is not a problem that can be addressed unilaterally, but needs to be addressed bilaterally by both governments. Without the demand from U.S. Americans for narcotics, cartelling would cease to be such an overwhelming problem. However, as cartels have taken over local governments and bought-off their law enforcement (especially in the north) the violence has been increasing as different cartel groups are fighting for passage to the north. While U.S. can provide resources to assist in redesigning the judicial system and professionalizing law-enforcement so they are more effective and can earn the trust of the Mexican people again, a significant effort needs to be made in U.S. policy as well. Specifically, drug prevention and sentencing needs to be reformed. I was impressed that the representatives could elaborate on this and describe the "big-picture" so to speak.

*U.S. Immigration Policy will not be addressed in Washington until the constituents (that is, the people, you and I) push our congressional leaders for reform. Politics is politics, and if we are not convincing our representatives the Immigration Policy deserves immediate attention, then it will never be addressed. Our representatives will pursue that which is most important to their constituents for the sake of keeping their elected position. I beseech you: ask for Immigration Policy and Drug Use Prevention, Treatment, Penalty Policies be brought to the table. It is vital not only for Mexico-U.S.A. relationships, but also to the procurement of human rights on both sides of the border.

Today I am doing homework, which I hope will include some salsa dancing tonight. I can't really tell that it's Valentine's Day here in Mexico, but I hope it's a good one for you!

Peace.

I am sipping coffee and eating fresh, warm pan dolce from the bakery down the street. I love my mornings in Mexico...

Classes at Universal are continuing well. I like my teacher and the focus on conversation. It is really helpful to have a 5-student class as well! We divided into teams and played charades in Spanish yesterday which was entertaining to say the least! It was a great way to increase our vocabulary (ej: matamosca=flyswatter). Our homework was pretty light from that class yesterday, but I also have two SOCW papers that were supposed to be due Friday before we left for the Embassy in Mexico City. I found out after the fact that the due date was postponed. Thank goodness, because I really need to write my Spanish composition tonight. After 3 hours of studying and debating whether or not to stay in D.F. this weekend, I chose not to stay overnight. I know that we will be spending 5 days in D.F. in April, and my first impression of the city wasn't that great. A weekend of worrying about being held-up, pick-pocketed, and trying to navigate the world's largest city-where people get sick from breathing the air-just doesn't appeal to me. I figure Mexico City will always be there, and if I want to go back later, I will. Besides, I'd rather save my $ for salsa-dancing and silver from Taxco next weekend.
My friend/classmate Rachel (one of my salsa buddies) and I went to the tiny, compact all-women's gym last night for weights and aerobics. It's basically like having a personal fitness instructor because they give us a routine and help us. The owner, our self-elected coach, is from Argentina and is a body-building champion. Now, if that's not motivation, I don't know what is. She makes me feel like a weakling...and so did that aerobics class. Good grief! Those women are insane, and I'm probably going back for more tonight.
Well...tally-ho!

I am listening to music and sipping on tea. It's quite nice. My eyes are burning from studying though.

Classes began at Universal Language school yesterday. I was a little bit, no, I was very nervous after the first 15 minutes of class. I could already tell that I had selected a class that would be way below my level. But, when I had to choose the class I was in my first quarter of 200-level Spanish at SU and wasn't sure where I would fall in the curriculum of 2nd-year (200-level) Spanish as it operates in the semester system which I am enrolled in through Augsburg at Universal. Did you catch that? Basically, I have taken the equivalent of 3/4 of the first semester of 200-level Spanish, so the class I selected would have been mostly review. Luckily, I discussed my concern with the advisor and my professor at Universal and then with our coordinator here for Augsburg and the all agreed to bump me up the second semester of 200-level Spanish. I attended this class today and feel like it will be a good fit for me. I did not want to waste a second of my opportunity to learn Spanish here. With only three weeks to cover a semester's worth of material, every day counts. Plus, I REALLY want to be as fluent as possible when I come home in May. I like my professor and the long days of round-table discussion and learning she facilitates for four students and myself. The workload is a little boggling, but I've been through worse.
A little glimpse of my morning routine: I wake up at 6am so I can walk at 6:30 and catch sunrise. Then I start studying at 7 or 7:15 and am embibing coffee by 7:30 when my "decaffeinated headache" begins to seize my brain. I sit in the little study room underneath the dining room, so I can hear when the pan dulce delivery comes as the bell rings in the kitchen to signal their arrival! Breakfast time! I study, check e-mails, and then go to class which starts at 9am.
Class lasts until 1pm. We have 3 breaks. I usually either walk around, play ping pong, or check e-mails during the short one, but Vinnie and I like to study together out-loud during our thirty minute break.
After class anything is possible, but right now I am flooded with homework. I have two SOCW papers due on Friday (which really equates to Thursday because we are leaving to go to Mexico City to visit the U.S. Embassy immediately after class at 12noon Friday) and a Spanish exam. I enjoy this though. I like the material and am still finding time to be present to the culture, city, and my fellow classmates. Today I went to the gym with Vinnie, which was a workout in itself going uphill for 30minutes on foot. Unfortunately, once we found the place, we were told we needed ID to enter (for security). Some good came out of it though:we were able to see the place and he told us we could have a student discount! oh goody. We also stopped at a store for dark chocolate...another one of life's necessities ;) I also caught local students and student bands from the neighborhood schools having a parade down our street. They stopped in front of our house to play for us.
Although I called my mom fretting about my future career choice (and lack of clarity regarding the issue), in general I must say that I am pretty happy to just BE while I am in Mexico. I am doing my best to live in the present and to not think too hard about why's, what if's, and how's of my future. I am pretty sure that I can not forsee what this experience will make of me, or how I might be transformed until much later in the process. So, I am just "rolling with the punches" so to speak and taking life one very long day at a time. I still do as much as possible, but I feel like my life is fairly well-balanced. That in itself is a new experience for me. I've always wondered what it felt like...so far, so good.

All my love.

So, a little more about Ixtlilco:

Besides all of the interesting visitations and discussion panels we had, some of the best interactions and observations came through natural interactions with the townspeople and our host families. My family was very kind and generous. I had a mom, dad, 2-yr. old brother (cute!), two teenage cousins (from different parents) and an aunt (who never married). It was interesting to see gender roles, to hear how the people felt about their own role, culture, matters of immigration, and their government (PAN). It was also just wonderful to be in a family atmosphere and a cozy small town. Within ten minutes of me and my classmate arriving, they whipped out photo albums and showed us their life stories. It happened again when we had a family dinner with 30+ people: they sat us down, started talking to us, and then showed us photo album after photo album. It was pretty amazing. And they were so curious about us as students, wanted to know about our families, our lives, our trip to Ixtlilco, what we thought of them and about immigration. It was mutually entertaining. They were pretty patient with my piecemeal Spanish also. That night we played a form of baseball in the front yard with the older kids and our dad...at 10 o'clock at night in the dust. It was great! The next day, some of us joined local kids in El Centro for a game of basketball. For the most part, they like to have their picture taken, then they want to see it, and then that leads into some great discussions. So many of the people had family/friends in the U.S. or had been there themselves. There stories were always fascinating yet heartwrenching. Many young men are expected to go to send money home to support their family. Some return, some don't. Hearing how family's are kept separate by protocol and laws was disgusting at times. One man just wanted to see his daughter who lived in Minnesota. Her doctors called him to tell her that they thought she would soon die of cancer and if he wanted to see her, he should come right away. He couldn't wait for a visa. He crossed illegally and luckily she recovered. Some migrants want to stay in the U.S., but return...some don't ever return. Some return and never want to go back to the U.S., but know they can't afford to live in Ixtlilco where there are few jobs to be had. It's a trying situation, and these days in Ixtlilco made me conscious of the dire need for policy changes concerning immigration/migration. So much of what circulates about migrants from Mexico is overdramatized to portray them as inhuman/subhuman or malicious. Not to say that there are no criminals, but please remember that these are people. Why would anyone want to risk their life and spend a fortune to leave everyone and everything they have ever known simply for the chance of earning what Americans consider to be a dead-end job? They come because they have no other option.

After Ixtlilco, we caravaned to an Ex-Hacienda (the Mexican version of plantations). It was beautiful! And, we were allowed to relax. Their was a pool, hammocks, horses, and sugar cane fields to run through. I particularly enjoyed drinking REAL coffee, playing on the swings, and saying a rosary while I laid in the grass under the sun. Oh! My first night there, I just paced back and forth as the cool breeze blew around me, and green grass under my feet. Of all the things I miss about home, I miss grass. Our days were fun and also peaceful. I woke one morning and went running with a professor and two boys. I literally ran circles around them because I was so much faster. It was hilarious! The next morning, 4 of us woke up at 6am and hiked a huge hill across the street to see the sunrise. We asked a local man where to catch a good view and he offered his roof! Two of the students left, but Vinnie and I weren't going to crap-out just before sunrise. He and I stayed a little bit longer and it was so worth the wait! The young son of the family climbed the ladder and said to me in Spanish, "my mom wants to know if you would like some coffee?" I had just told Vinnie how I needed some, and of course accepted the offer. A few minutes passed and he and his mom scaled the two-story ladder bringing coffee and mugs. It was Vinnie's first time seeing a sunrise, and he thanked me profusely for telling him to relax and just wait for it. Just to see his elation made it all worthwhile for me :)

We returned to Cuernavaca on Friday afternoon, and having missed the first weekend out on the town, I had some serious business to take care of: finding a good salsa club. It may not have happened Friday, but Saturday we had great luck! More about that later...

On Monday, we left for our rural homestay in Ixtlilco. I can not adequately describe the many ways this trip impacted me. Not only did it provide faces and immediate relationships with the migant story, but it also allowed me to explore and observe the culture within which I will be living and learning. Our week was packed with visits to places and with people in the community both formally through our school, and informally through our host families.

On Monday, we (my classmate and I)settled in with our host family who took us to work with them. A group in the community is employed by the government to reforest, but they have to collect the pods from the trees when they fall, shell the pods and grow saplings from the trees which they will then plant at the beginning of the rainy season. Right now, they are shelling the pods. In a small cement building, we sat on the floor around a sheet with a pile of pods in the middle, a spanish subtitled film blared, and we soon learned that most of them are related and they all know each other and each other's family. It was a neat experience.

Monday: We visited the ejidos (community agricultural land) where they grew sugar cane, figs, and had huge greenhouses of tomatoes which they let us eat off the vine. It was blistering hot though. Later we had a visit with migrants who shared their stories with us.

Tuesday: We visited a newly established farming cooperative which takes a holistic approach to community and personal moral development while also providing employment to local youth in hopes to keep them from criminal activities and migrating to the USA. We also visited telesecundaria where the students learn via satellite TV and the teacher basically moderates the class. I'm not sure how effective it is, but without it, many of these students would not go beyond a grade school education because they cannot afford to transport back and forth the next town for school. Later women from opportunidades told us of the difficulties of social welfare in Ixtlilco and the necessity of government support so that families can afford their kids education and live decently. Gender roles were interesting to examine here. The government refuses to give the grants to the father because it would be spent on alcohol. The mothers are responsible for the finances of the home, yet wield much less respect and power in public spaces. It was difficult for me to reconcile sometimes.

These are only the "business" aspects of the trip. So much more took place outside the formal boundaries with our personal interactions with the townspeople and our families. But, I am tired and our Spanish classes begin tomorrow. Stay tuned....

I broke down today and bought a hairdryer. I had not styled my hair for three weeks, and it felt remarkably good! I came with very little, expecting something a bit more rustic or casual. For once, I was the lightest-packing person on a trip! I am sure my family will be amazed at this accomplishment. I think pretty much everyone, including the boys, brought at least one BIG rolling suitcase full of clothes and jewelry, make-up, and shoes, etc. I am glad that I don't have that much; I think it would be a distraction to my purpose in being here. But, once I realized that I could and would like to actually do something with my appearance, it seemed irresistable. Sometimes, the smallest things make a big difference in how one feels.
This all sounds very vain, and I am sure that it is. In all honesty though, having been here awhile now I am realizing that I will always stand out for being a young, white, female, and an American. While I will gain confidence operating within the city, I could never be a "local." I don't necessarily want to be anyway. Since I can't change who I am, and since I have little control over what this society reads into my appearance, I figure I might as well just be myself. And I do like to blow dry my hair. I also bought nail polish, though I am not wearing that yet.
Having some little familiar things is beneficial to treating my homesickness as well. I cannot make cool air or rainclouds appear. I cannot snap my fingers to see my family and friends. I cannot have my room or my kitchen, my gym or my running routes, green grass or an ocean. But I can have a blow dryer and nailpolish, and I don't see any reason to deny myself a few comforts. Besides, with the amount of salsa dancing I plan to do here, I need a hairstyle to match the dress and pretty shoes...right? :)
Sending you Love.