Today I just did not want to be in Mexico. I refuse to admit that I am homesick, because I think that would be a misdiagnosis. I am not "homesick," I just would have preferred to be in Seattle today: running down to the pier to listen to the waves break and see the sun glisten on the water, reading in cafe sipping on a deep Americano and enjoying a biscotti, or going to the market to buy produce from my favorite stand and returning to "play" in my kitchen while dancing around to music. I just miss the life I had in Seattle. Cuernavaca is very different, and that is an understatement. Don't misinterpret me, I have a good lifestyle here, but it is just not the lifestyle that I am 1. used to 2. would choose to live out forever. I tried to find the one "chill" cafe where I could do homework and maybe even drink some decent coffee, but ended up walking aimlessly and returning with a sunburn. great. And I didn't find the cafe. I did however stop in at the cathedral and they had a printed schedule of today's mass including the mass parts in Spanish.

I joined Tere, her husband, and one other classmate for mass this morning, but was feeling nauseas and coughing. I was saddened by the fact that what was once the most wonderful part of my week has become I strain as I have to think so hard just to translate the readings and homily. And I am practically mute in these masses because I don't yet know the prayers, mass parts, and they have no song books so I can't sing either. That's not good. Tere did introduce us to the priest though who invited us (my classmate and I) to help with an English class for the local kids as two young boys clambered into our circle and jovially agreed, tugging on his robe. He teased back. It was hilarious, but I still left feeling sad.

I understand that it will take a long time for me to adjust and have accepted that I could never be a "local" here. Fine. That is not my intention. I just didn't want to "keep on trying" today. I just wanted to feel comfortable and competent in my environment. I believe I am making progress in establishing roots here though, having joined a gym, hopefully found a service placement at Don Bosco, being invited to help at our church, and attending mass with Tere.

The past two days have just not been too wonderful. I have felt more sick all over and I know that I am fighting something because I can't keep my blood-sugar levels down. Luckily, I had a lot of down time to read, do homework, and today I even had a massage. It was amazing to say the least! I am not a "sit and relax" type of person, and anyone who knows me can attest to that as pure fact about my personality. However, I always wanted to know what it was like to be still and to enjoy leisure time while knocking a few books off my "to read" list. Funny how when I'm busy I crave free time, and when I have free time I want to be busy. Oh humans, they are just never satisfied...By about 6pm tonight I was beginning to appreciate the fact that I had been lounging around in my pajamas for a good portion of the day and that I was about to head into a massage. This is part of the learning experience: appreciating life in the moment, for all that that moment holds. To do so may require me to slow down my pace a little bit and actually take a breath and prioritize people over tasks. That would be the purpose of life, no? Adjustment is a process and it takes time. It feels like freshman year of college in a way: knowing that there is so much that I could/want to do, but not knowing what I want to commit myself to.

Peace,
aly