Oh, and I forgot to mention one other consolation. Yesterday, I had a date with novio. He took me to Jardin Borda. It was beautiful! How I miss lush foliage and just to see the color green made me first giddy, then I filled with tranquility. He rowed me around the little lagoon for about an hour as we talked and watched the ducks and chased after turtles.
It's like a dream. I don't want to wake up. How I fear the sunrise in May.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Sorry, I forgot the extension to upload pictures from my camera. I'll add them soon. Lo siento.
I suppose I could tell you a little bit about my life lately. And trust me, I do want to. I am just very, very busy. Everyday we have class, everyday I walk up a huge set of stairs to get to class (see picture). Everyday I try to learn more from my family, especially this week as I am preparing to move back into our house with the other students at school. As usual, life has consolations and desolations. My consolations with my family have been numerous. My desolation is that I have to leave them. I am not fond of good-byes. I feel that I have learned so much about life here from living with a family, and I have been immeasurably enriched by the homestay experience. I have been blessed to belong to another wonderful family.
I have been talking about my mom (the wonderful chef) teaching me how to make tamales since I arrived at their house. Really, I love tamales. Seeing as it was my last weekend, I hung around with the family as much as possible at the house (though two huge projects kept me in my school hermitage for most of the day Saturday). I had told my parents that my novio had a surprise for me. He likes giving me surprises. So far, I like them too J And my family promptly advised me to invite him over for a surprise (our tamales)! So Sunday morning, we packed into my brother’s taxi with our treated maiz to go to the mill (molina). The owner thought I was my mom’s daughter-in-law. Sometimes, I wish. Then we went to mass (sent the masa home with the son). That morning my family teased me for thinking about my novio because I was really clumsy: breaking a glass, spilling water. I think I was just thrilled in general. Tamales are a lot of work, but generally pretty easy. We worked the masa with mazteca (see picture) and hurried to stuff them so they could steam cook before novio arrived.
He did arrive, and he brought my surprise: my favorite flower (an orchid) in my favorite color (red). I just mentioned that I liked orchids one day along time ago and apparently he remembered. I didn’t even know red orchids existed, but they do (see picture)! I laughed to myself as I sat on the couch and oogled over the flower and meanwhile my dad and novio are talking about business. *sigh* somethings are universal, no? Eventually, we all sat to eat together. And the tamales were graciously received. My family told me that now, ‘eres mexicana (you’re Mexican)’ and ‘puedes casarte porque sabes como se hacen los tamales (you can get married because you know how to make tamales).’ Great! I guess I’m ready! In reality, don’t worry, there are no plans for marriage in the near future. Later, novio and I went for ice cream and a stroll in the afternoon sun. It was a very nice day. Good thing too, because this week has been kind of hellish.
Monday we visited the public facilities of La Lagunilla (the colonia where I’ve been living). We saw the health center, schools, market and a roaming dentist office! Then we had a lecture about health care systems in Mexico. Classes have been kind of dull this week, and we’re all tired from trying to spend time with our families and complete a major paper assignment. Nonetheless, I went to salsa classes as usual last night. I started going to two in a row, which I like, and sometimes it helps to be the foreigner because no one volunteers to dance with me. Why is this good? Because the teacher likes me, and I get to dance with him! I’m going to invest in private lessons once Semana Santa has passed. I literally have no free weekends except for the one immediately before I leave to the U.S., which I have reserved for my finals....and my final farewell to life, family, friends, and perhaps novio. These are things which are making my stomach hurt today, much to the concern of my mom, because I can’t eat when I’m stressed and she really likes me to eat. I love Mexico.
I am working on a powerpoint and my next paper before this weekend because novio and I are going to el Estado de Mexico to visit his cousins and see a rodeo/carnaval there. I’m pretty excited. I love horses; I love cowboys; I love spending time with novio; I love getting out of Cuernavaca. Next week, the social work students from UNAM are coming to stay with us here too. Then it’s Semana Santa.
I just received my schedule for next week, week 10. How can nine weeks have already past? I am not ready to accept that I will have to go home and do something with all of these experiences, all of these thoughts, and emotions. Tomorrow, my brother the taxi driver is moving me out of my house at 8 o’clock in the morning. Our class will be going to a rural village in Guerrero to see the effects of poverty, colonization, and globalization in a community of palm-weavers. And then I’m going to salsa dance. It’s like going through culture shock within one culture on a daily basis. Eso es la vida loca. And it is sometimes baffling for me to consider what I could/should/will/have to do with what I know, what I’ve seen, what I’ve felt.
Godspeed.
aly
I suppose I could tell you a little bit about my life lately. And trust me, I do want to. I am just very, very busy. Everyday we have class, everyday I walk up a huge set of stairs to get to class (see picture). Everyday I try to learn more from my family, especially this week as I am preparing to move back into our house with the other students at school. As usual, life has consolations and desolations. My consolations with my family have been numerous. My desolation is that I have to leave them. I am not fond of good-byes. I feel that I have learned so much about life here from living with a family, and I have been immeasurably enriched by the homestay experience. I have been blessed to belong to another wonderful family.
I have been talking about my mom (the wonderful chef) teaching me how to make tamales since I arrived at their house. Really, I love tamales. Seeing as it was my last weekend, I hung around with the family as much as possible at the house (though two huge projects kept me in my school hermitage for most of the day Saturday). I had told my parents that my novio had a surprise for me. He likes giving me surprises. So far, I like them too J And my family promptly advised me to invite him over for a surprise (our tamales)! So Sunday morning, we packed into my brother’s taxi with our treated maiz to go to the mill (molina). The owner thought I was my mom’s daughter-in-law. Sometimes, I wish. Then we went to mass (sent the masa home with the son). That morning my family teased me for thinking about my novio because I was really clumsy: breaking a glass, spilling water. I think I was just thrilled in general. Tamales are a lot of work, but generally pretty easy. We worked the masa with mazteca (see picture) and hurried to stuff them so they could steam cook before novio arrived.
He did arrive, and he brought my surprise: my favorite flower (an orchid) in my favorite color (red). I just mentioned that I liked orchids one day along time ago and apparently he remembered. I didn’t even know red orchids existed, but they do (see picture)! I laughed to myself as I sat on the couch and oogled over the flower and meanwhile my dad and novio are talking about business. *sigh* somethings are universal, no? Eventually, we all sat to eat together. And the tamales were graciously received. My family told me that now, ‘eres mexicana (you’re Mexican)’ and ‘puedes casarte porque sabes como se hacen los tamales (you can get married because you know how to make tamales).’ Great! I guess I’m ready! In reality, don’t worry, there are no plans for marriage in the near future. Later, novio and I went for ice cream and a stroll in the afternoon sun. It was a very nice day. Good thing too, because this week has been kind of hellish.
Monday we visited the public facilities of La Lagunilla (the colonia where I’ve been living). We saw the health center, schools, market and a roaming dentist office! Then we had a lecture about health care systems in Mexico. Classes have been kind of dull this week, and we’re all tired from trying to spend time with our families and complete a major paper assignment. Nonetheless, I went to salsa classes as usual last night. I started going to two in a row, which I like, and sometimes it helps to be the foreigner because no one volunteers to dance with me. Why is this good? Because the teacher likes me, and I get to dance with him! I’m going to invest in private lessons once Semana Santa has passed. I literally have no free weekends except for the one immediately before I leave to the U.S., which I have reserved for my finals....and my final farewell to life, family, friends, and perhaps novio. These are things which are making my stomach hurt today, much to the concern of my mom, because I can’t eat when I’m stressed and she really likes me to eat. I love Mexico.
I am working on a powerpoint and my next paper before this weekend because novio and I are going to el Estado de Mexico to visit his cousins and see a rodeo/carnaval there. I’m pretty excited. I love horses; I love cowboys; I love spending time with novio; I love getting out of Cuernavaca. Next week, the social work students from UNAM are coming to stay with us here too. Then it’s Semana Santa.
I just received my schedule for next week, week 10. How can nine weeks have already past? I am not ready to accept that I will have to go home and do something with all of these experiences, all of these thoughts, and emotions. Tomorrow, my brother the taxi driver is moving me out of my house at 8 o’clock in the morning. Our class will be going to a rural village in Guerrero to see the effects of poverty, colonization, and globalization in a community of palm-weavers. And then I’m going to salsa dance. It’s like going through culture shock within one culture on a daily basis. Eso es la vida loca. And it is sometimes baffling for me to consider what I could/should/will/have to do with what I know, what I’ve seen, what I’ve felt.
Godspeed.
aly
Thursday, March 19, 2009
This is a delayed entry of what went down last week:
I feel like I have two very separate and both equally wonderful and fulfilling lives going on right now: one in Mexico and one in the U.S. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, to be honest. Nor am I sure how it will influence my future when I return. What will I do with this? Is it just going to be a chapter in life's past? Or will it change my future path for my career, life-goals, etc...? I don't know and I can't predict it. Therefore, I pray about it and place those anxieties in God's hands...except for the occassional attack of scruples.
I love living with a host family. I find it incredibly enriching, consoling, and am learning a lot about living in Mexico and my Spanish is improving. My dad gave me a lesson at our house in the puebla of Miacatlan two days ago and that was fun. It is also fun to be surrounded (literally: upstairs, downstairs, next door, down the street) by family. family family family...kids kids kids...so much life and I love it! It makes me wonder how I ever lived alone and how I could ever live alone again.
School is also going well. I don't really like my groups and families SOCW class because it is boring and I am not really learning anything. I knew that would happen if I chose this degree, but I am trying to think about the end result, and that some classes are just a means to an end (grad school, the VA, policy, a livelihood, my own family, etc). However, I like our Mexico history class, and this week, we also took a field trip to visit the Guadalupan nuns! Yay! It was incredibly interesting to go visit a convent here (beautiful grounds and something in common with the Italian convent: beautiful roses! my favorite!). More interesting was learning about he significance and prevalence of the Virgin of Guadalupe in Mexican culture, especially amongst the marginalized (poor, sick, and indigenous). It was fascinating to hear the controversy over how the appearances actually played out (whether the Church manipulated the indigenous or whether the indigenous manipulated the Church), the significance of the actual appearance of Mary to the indigenous, and how powerful/prominent she remains through all ranks of society today in Mexico. Since I have a great spiritual-emotional investment in and a particularly influential relationship with Mary, this is something I find very interesting here.
What else...oh, salsa classes! Yes, fabulous! This week though was pretty amazing...and more proof that I have some amazing angels with me here in Mexico. Why is God so good to me? Anyway, I went to class alone (my dance buddies were busy), but it worked out great! I was paired with the other instuctor, which is good because I can learn more. The only bad thing, was that the strap on my shoe broke when I was dancing, but luckily I always have a hair tie with me...so, I wrapped it around my foot and shoe, and it actually worked quite well! :D hahaha! As I was standing outside calling a cab after the lesson, my teacher walked by and asked if I wanted a ride to the center. Ok! So in the car he was telling me I should go to the store and return my shoes, that he would go with me this week, and also invited me to a salsa event in D.F. for the past Saturday, and to his birthday party in April! Better yet, he was driving to another site to teach another class, so invited me to attend. No one else showed up, so I got a free drink and a private lesson for free! It is just fun to have the opportunity to meet and develop relationships (however temporary they might be) with interesting and genuine people here! I was ecstatic when I finally went home on Thursday night. One of those: "are you serious? did that just happen?" moments! I love my life in Mexico...except for the occassional and apparently unpreventable attack of illness which soon followed.
I became violently and suddenly ill on Friday. I don't really know what happened either. In the morning during classes I just became more and more weak, faint and feverish. Then I started throwing up too. I thought if I slept I might have felt better, but I didn't. Luckily, there's a taxi-driver in my family who took me to the doctor, waited with me, helped me cross the street because I was so weak and in pain, and took me to the pharmacy and home again. My family was really wonderful about it too. They watched me and tried to feed me (even though what I could eat didn't stay down!) and my mom prayed over me and gave me natural therapy. They reassured me "I know it's hard to be sick and away from home..that you just want your mom and that it's scary...But we are your family now and if you need anything, tell us." I have never slept so much in a 24-hour period in my life. Saturday I was ok enough (as in I had stopped puking and could actually walk for more than a minute) to go to Miacatlan, but still couldn't eat much and slept a lot!
Sunday was better. My friend invited me to go with him and a cousin to a soccer game and to a Radiohead concert earlier in the week. He came to Miacatlan to pick me up Sunday morning. I am not 100% better, but I am least functional. We had so much fun in Mexico City too! It was a very authentic Mexico experience going to a futbol game, eating at a little family restaurant, and then concerting with the rowdies at night! We weren't partying, and knew I was sick so my friend was being really careful of me which was actually quite endearing! Like I said...I have some pretty incredible angels working for me. Fine, I will just confess that really, he is my novio, um we're dating. Which, to be honest, I have struggled with immensely. We met through one of my friends and one of his cousins. I am incredibly suspicious of anyone who appears interested in me, and even more so here. But, weeks past, I spent some time with him, and we just get along really well and enjoy being with one another. I am impressed with how well he treats me, his sincerity, integrity, and diligence. I fought and fought, not wanting to be involved with anyone (in general, but especially here), but it was kind of unavoidable. And we've talked about it a lot to: how precarious the future is and how it is really hard for me to even consider being a good friend with anyone here because I know I am going to leave in 2 months. But, I figure that we, as human beings, are gifts to one another. And as such, we are meant to love each other as part of God's plan for us. I guess as long as this is life-giving for both of us, it can't be a bad thing. I just have qualms because it kind of gives me crazy thoughts about the future (and all the plans I have/thought I had?) and also, I have scruples over spending time with "some guy" rather than volunteering or something like that. I guess things happen for a reason, and as novio told me, "just be patient and you will see: good things will come."
This too, adds to the difficulty of having two lives at one time. I really don't think it will be possible for him and I to keep up when I come home, so does that make it pointless to be together now? Somehow, I think not. As you know though, I am hesitant about ANY sort of dating relationship though. At the very least, I feel I have found a very kind and wonderful friend here. He has been a great gift to my life and experiences in the past couple weeks. On Wednesday, he planned a surprise and took me to a park to go play on the tree-swings! How could he have guessed that I would love that? Swings are my favorite! This week we met to walk (because we both enjoy this) and sporadically ended up at an ice cream shop. Who would of thought that there would be cheese ice-cream. And really, it is cheesy. It didn't taste bad, I just prefer cheese as cheese and ice-cream as ice-cream.
I am overly-busy in a different manner than I am used to: I don't feel stretched-thin, I feel like my self, my heart, my life is overflowing. For once, it is kind of full of good things, which also freaks me out because I'm not really used to feeling this happy! Like I said though, with that over-stuffed feeling comes a different sort of sadness, as I know that I can't keep up with two lives, that I am short-changing my life at home right now by being so far away and so busy here.
Also, it makes me wonder if I will ever just see my path clearly, see myself living one life instead of a series of different lives through the medium of one body. Does that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to express is that I feel like my life thus far has been a series of different phases or "lives" where huge, incredible, sometimes good and sometimes incredibly sad and challenging life experiences have just followed one after another. Which is why I feel like I'm 30 years old sometimes. I don't forsake any of it, but I do kind of find it exhausting. Is it just life thus far? part of being ages 0-20 yrs, or will it continue forever?
Part of me longs for something steady and secure, not necessarily predictable, but a state of being that I can actually live out for more than a few months or a year at a time. I don't always want to be going through phases of metamorphosis, or at least not at the degree that I have been thus far. I don't really want to be shedding a skin to pick up and "try-on" a new one. I want to just have one that is genuine, comfortable, and perfectly inhabitable for me to keep forever. My faith is my continuity, and that will always remain. I think someday I will be able to make some sense of all of this, but right now, I can either despise the ambiguity, or embrace it. I choose to embrace it. That, by the way, is a feature of Mexican culture I have learned: accepting and living in ambiguity and amongst contradiction. hmm...
I hope you are enjoying this strange, magnificent, and sometimes downright excruciating stories. Sometimes I don't enjoy living them out, but then I remember that everything happens for a reason, that God is with me through it all, teaching me, encouraging me, showing me how to love and live authentically. And somehow, I continue to wake up, breathe in, and keep on keepin' on. Really, it's quite miraculous, if you can just appreciate life for what it IS.
Peace, aly
I feel like I have two very separate and both equally wonderful and fulfilling lives going on right now: one in Mexico and one in the U.S. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, to be honest. Nor am I sure how it will influence my future when I return. What will I do with this? Is it just going to be a chapter in life's past? Or will it change my future path for my career, life-goals, etc...? I don't know and I can't predict it. Therefore, I pray about it and place those anxieties in God's hands...except for the occassional attack of scruples.
I love living with a host family. I find it incredibly enriching, consoling, and am learning a lot about living in Mexico and my Spanish is improving. My dad gave me a lesson at our house in the puebla of Miacatlan two days ago and that was fun. It is also fun to be surrounded (literally: upstairs, downstairs, next door, down the street) by family. family family family...kids kids kids...so much life and I love it! It makes me wonder how I ever lived alone and how I could ever live alone again.
School is also going well. I don't really like my groups and families SOCW class because it is boring and I am not really learning anything. I knew that would happen if I chose this degree, but I am trying to think about the end result, and that some classes are just a means to an end (grad school, the VA, policy, a livelihood, my own family, etc). However, I like our Mexico history class, and this week, we also took a field trip to visit the Guadalupan nuns! Yay! It was incredibly interesting to go visit a convent here (beautiful grounds and something in common with the Italian convent: beautiful roses! my favorite!). More interesting was learning about he significance and prevalence of the Virgin of Guadalupe in Mexican culture, especially amongst the marginalized (poor, sick, and indigenous). It was fascinating to hear the controversy over how the appearances actually played out (whether the Church manipulated the indigenous or whether the indigenous manipulated the Church), the significance of the actual appearance of Mary to the indigenous, and how powerful/prominent she remains through all ranks of society today in Mexico. Since I have a great spiritual-emotional investment in and a particularly influential relationship with Mary, this is something I find very interesting here.
What else...oh, salsa classes! Yes, fabulous! This week though was pretty amazing...and more proof that I have some amazing angels with me here in Mexico. Why is God so good to me? Anyway, I went to class alone (my dance buddies were busy), but it worked out great! I was paired with the other instuctor, which is good because I can learn more. The only bad thing, was that the strap on my shoe broke when I was dancing, but luckily I always have a hair tie with me...so, I wrapped it around my foot and shoe, and it actually worked quite well! :D hahaha! As I was standing outside calling a cab after the lesson, my teacher walked by and asked if I wanted a ride to the center. Ok! So in the car he was telling me I should go to the store and return my shoes, that he would go with me this week, and also invited me to a salsa event in D.F. for the past Saturday, and to his birthday party in April! Better yet, he was driving to another site to teach another class, so invited me to attend. No one else showed up, so I got a free drink and a private lesson for free! It is just fun to have the opportunity to meet and develop relationships (however temporary they might be) with interesting and genuine people here! I was ecstatic when I finally went home on Thursday night. One of those: "are you serious? did that just happen?" moments! I love my life in Mexico...except for the occassional and apparently unpreventable attack of illness which soon followed.
I became violently and suddenly ill on Friday. I don't really know what happened either. In the morning during classes I just became more and more weak, faint and feverish. Then I started throwing up too. I thought if I slept I might have felt better, but I didn't. Luckily, there's a taxi-driver in my family who took me to the doctor, waited with me, helped me cross the street because I was so weak and in pain, and took me to the pharmacy and home again. My family was really wonderful about it too. They watched me and tried to feed me (even though what I could eat didn't stay down!) and my mom prayed over me and gave me natural therapy. They reassured me "I know it's hard to be sick and away from home..that you just want your mom and that it's scary...But we are your family now and if you need anything, tell us." I have never slept so much in a 24-hour period in my life. Saturday I was ok enough (as in I had stopped puking and could actually walk for more than a minute) to go to Miacatlan, but still couldn't eat much and slept a lot!
Sunday was better. My friend invited me to go with him and a cousin to a soccer game and to a Radiohead concert earlier in the week. He came to Miacatlan to pick me up Sunday morning. I am not 100% better, but I am least functional. We had so much fun in Mexico City too! It was a very authentic Mexico experience going to a futbol game, eating at a little family restaurant, and then concerting with the rowdies at night! We weren't partying, and knew I was sick so my friend was being really careful of me which was actually quite endearing! Like I said...I have some pretty incredible angels working for me. Fine, I will just confess that really, he is my novio, um we're dating. Which, to be honest, I have struggled with immensely. We met through one of my friends and one of his cousins. I am incredibly suspicious of anyone who appears interested in me, and even more so here. But, weeks past, I spent some time with him, and we just get along really well and enjoy being with one another. I am impressed with how well he treats me, his sincerity, integrity, and diligence. I fought and fought, not wanting to be involved with anyone (in general, but especially here), but it was kind of unavoidable. And we've talked about it a lot to: how precarious the future is and how it is really hard for me to even consider being a good friend with anyone here because I know I am going to leave in 2 months. But, I figure that we, as human beings, are gifts to one another. And as such, we are meant to love each other as part of God's plan for us. I guess as long as this is life-giving for both of us, it can't be a bad thing. I just have qualms because it kind of gives me crazy thoughts about the future (and all the plans I have/thought I had?) and also, I have scruples over spending time with "some guy" rather than volunteering or something like that. I guess things happen for a reason, and as novio told me, "just be patient and you will see: good things will come."
This too, adds to the difficulty of having two lives at one time. I really don't think it will be possible for him and I to keep up when I come home, so does that make it pointless to be together now? Somehow, I think not. As you know though, I am hesitant about ANY sort of dating relationship though. At the very least, I feel I have found a very kind and wonderful friend here. He has been a great gift to my life and experiences in the past couple weeks. On Wednesday, he planned a surprise and took me to a park to go play on the tree-swings! How could he have guessed that I would love that? Swings are my favorite! This week we met to walk (because we both enjoy this) and sporadically ended up at an ice cream shop. Who would of thought that there would be cheese ice-cream. And really, it is cheesy. It didn't taste bad, I just prefer cheese as cheese and ice-cream as ice-cream.
I am overly-busy in a different manner than I am used to: I don't feel stretched-thin, I feel like my self, my heart, my life is overflowing. For once, it is kind of full of good things, which also freaks me out because I'm not really used to feeling this happy! Like I said though, with that over-stuffed feeling comes a different sort of sadness, as I know that I can't keep up with two lives, that I am short-changing my life at home right now by being so far away and so busy here.
Also, it makes me wonder if I will ever just see my path clearly, see myself living one life instead of a series of different lives through the medium of one body. Does that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to express is that I feel like my life thus far has been a series of different phases or "lives" where huge, incredible, sometimes good and sometimes incredibly sad and challenging life experiences have just followed one after another. Which is why I feel like I'm 30 years old sometimes. I don't forsake any of it, but I do kind of find it exhausting. Is it just life thus far? part of being ages 0-20 yrs, or will it continue forever?
Part of me longs for something steady and secure, not necessarily predictable, but a state of being that I can actually live out for more than a few months or a year at a time. I don't always want to be going through phases of metamorphosis, or at least not at the degree that I have been thus far. I don't really want to be shedding a skin to pick up and "try-on" a new one. I want to just have one that is genuine, comfortable, and perfectly inhabitable for me to keep forever. My faith is my continuity, and that will always remain. I think someday I will be able to make some sense of all of this, but right now, I can either despise the ambiguity, or embrace it. I choose to embrace it. That, by the way, is a feature of Mexican culture I have learned: accepting and living in ambiguity and amongst contradiction. hmm...
I hope you are enjoying this strange, magnificent, and sometimes downright excruciating stories. Sometimes I don't enjoy living them out, but then I remember that everything happens for a reason, that God is with me through it all, teaching me, encouraging me, showing me how to love and live authentically. And somehow, I continue to wake up, breathe in, and keep on keepin' on. Really, it's quite miraculous, if you can just appreciate life for what it IS.
Peace, aly
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Yeah, sorry. I've missed a week. And I don't have time right now to tell you about it either. Class starts in ten minutes, and I wanted to give a brief description of how I've been feeling the past 24 hours, in a word: conflicted.
Yesterday as I was walking the streets with novio, I realized that it was exactly the midpoint of my stay here in Mexico. Somehow, it struck me: I am not going to be here forever. Sure, I knew that. But something about the midpoint made me feel like it is all downhill from here. Yet things are only looking up for me. Things are going great. And that is what is so devastating about reaching the midpoint, because the second half always passes faster. You'll read about my good times in the next blog entry, when I have more than 10 (now 7) minutes to write.
I had insomnia last night....I just can't come to terms with the fact that I only have one more week with my host family. I love them dearly for all they've done for me, all they've taught me, for healing my heart, body, and feeding my soul with generosity and kindess. I don't really look forward to living with 20 students in a house again. I am much happier and feel much more authentic and present to the culture/experience while I am with my family.
I got up early because my stomach was hurting so bad- straight through to my back. It's kind of like having rocks scattered in your guts, but the pain in my back is like something petrified around my spine at the bottom of my ribcage and won't move. It's nice. My mom prayed over me again, beseeching the Virgin and Christ to heal me as she massaged my stomach. Sounds weird, but it works.
The one good thing about this morning is that my hair was great! And we are studying poverty and homelessness today in class. Two of my favorites.
This is a weird entry, but I figure that's part of the experience that I could share with you. Sometimes, it's very difficult to live two lives, or to make sense of two lives that are happening simultaneously but are practically completely unrelated. I've felt spread thin before in my life. Right now I feel equally overwhelmed by a life that is so full and so rich. What do I do with it now? In the future?
Love.
Yesterday as I was walking the streets with novio, I realized that it was exactly the midpoint of my stay here in Mexico. Somehow, it struck me: I am not going to be here forever. Sure, I knew that. But something about the midpoint made me feel like it is all downhill from here. Yet things are only looking up for me. Things are going great. And that is what is so devastating about reaching the midpoint, because the second half always passes faster. You'll read about my good times in the next blog entry, when I have more than 10 (now 7) minutes to write.
I had insomnia last night....I just can't come to terms with the fact that I only have one more week with my host family. I love them dearly for all they've done for me, all they've taught me, for healing my heart, body, and feeding my soul with generosity and kindess. I don't really look forward to living with 20 students in a house again. I am much happier and feel much more authentic and present to the culture/experience while I am with my family.
I got up early because my stomach was hurting so bad- straight through to my back. It's kind of like having rocks scattered in your guts, but the pain in my back is like something petrified around my spine at the bottom of my ribcage and won't move. It's nice. My mom prayed over me again, beseeching the Virgin and Christ to heal me as she massaged my stomach. Sounds weird, but it works.
The one good thing about this morning is that my hair was great! And we are studying poverty and homelessness today in class. Two of my favorites.
This is a weird entry, but I figure that's part of the experience that I could share with you. Sometimes, it's very difficult to live two lives, or to make sense of two lives that are happening simultaneously but are practically completely unrelated. I've felt spread thin before in my life. Right now I feel equally overwhelmed by a life that is so full and so rich. What do I do with it now? In the future?
Love.
Monday, March 9, 2009
picture 1: My host mom and her grandson. She taught me how to make Chile Rellenos!
picture 2: At Cortes Palace
picture 3: Me and my buddy. Girls just want to have fun! I went over to her house to borrow some clothes on a moment's notice, as I was asked for a "sita" (date) downtown. I couldn't show up in (what I call) my park ranger clothes!
picture 4: My own room in my home! exciting!
Here I am again, trying to catch up on my blog. Forgive me for not being too reflective lately. In some ways I have been reflective, I just haven’t been writing about it. I feel like that is part of living in the present: loss of reflection time. I could argue for both living presently and for being reflective...I guess balance is good. Thing is, right now, I don’t want to be very reflective. I am enjoying life to much to think about it too deeply. Weird? Kind of. But if I think about how wonderful life is here right now, it makes me want to stay forever and it makes me resent that I have to come home. It makes me confused about what I should/could/will do in the future if or when I ever make sense of this beautiful mess I’ve made.
So, let me tell you what I’ve been up to...A whole lot of livin’ going on! Classes are truckin’ along. It is incredibly difficult to sit down and study for any period of time, especially in my house where family is always flowing in and out and (of course) I will prioritize playing with kids over reading about policy. But, I am doing homework. This week we visited an orphanage that cares for children that are abandoned, abused, or maltreated. It was beautiful inside and out. The campus was wonderful with donated outdoor jungle gyms, brightly colored dorm rooms. The people were beautiful too. The workers who are so dedicated to giving the children a fair chance at success, a chance of dignity and accomplishment. The children so friendly and vibrant despite their circumstances. They have been nourished by the labor of love of the workers who have diligently developed this state-funded home. We also visited a elderly care facility which again was equally as impressive. It is so interesting to compare these facilities and services with what we have in America. It is difficult to describe the feeling of these campuses. They are not cold and barren like so often I have found in the U.S. Rather, they feel warm and engaging, even though the people are struggling with the same difficulties as our social welfare. I see this beautiful light, this beautiful genuine love of humanity radiate from the workers and in the eyes of those they serve.
So, let me tell you what I’ve been up to...A whole lot of livin’ going on! Classes are truckin’ along. It is incredibly difficult to sit down and study for any period of time, especially in my house where family is always flowing in and out and (of course) I will prioritize playing with kids over reading about policy. But, I am doing homework. This week we visited an orphanage that cares for children that are abandoned, abused, or maltreated. It was beautiful inside and out. The campus was wonderful with donated outdoor jungle gyms, brightly colored dorm rooms. The people were beautiful too. The workers who are so dedicated to giving the children a fair chance at success, a chance of dignity and accomplishment. The children so friendly and vibrant despite their circumstances. They have been nourished by the labor of love of the workers who have diligently developed this state-funded home. We also visited a elderly care facility which again was equally as impressive. It is so interesting to compare these facilities and services with what we have in America. It is difficult to describe the feeling of these campuses. They are not cold and barren like so often I have found in the U.S. Rather, they feel warm and engaging, even though the people are struggling with the same difficulties as our social welfare. I see this beautiful light, this beautiful genuine love of humanity radiate from the workers and in the eyes of those they serve.
On Tuesday, we went to Il Centro to visit the Cortes Palace and see the murals by Diego. It was actually a pretty powerful experience: thinking of the legacy of conquest in Mexico, how radically the Spaniards (with the support of the Church) imposed themselves on the indigenous culture, and how the system of beliefs and values, the social structure was divided by race, gender, class, economic stance. It is incredible to think of the will of the people here, who still have such warmth and generosity, who still believe in the value of life though for centuries they have been told they are practically (and sometimes entirely) worthless in comparison to the ruling elite.
Wednesday after class, HW, and the gym, I went with my dance partner to salsa class. It was fun...and we realized how much we suck, and how much we need to learn! But, the instructor (who is gorgeous, I will not lie!) invited me to his dance event "Ritmos que se mueven el mundo" (Rhythms that move the world) that Friday, so I found someone to go with me and called him to reserve tickets! I love salsa!
Me and my classmate Julie facilitated lab group on Friday, and after the serious stuff, shared brownies, cookies, and milk while we talked about little things we miss and little comforts we have found here. After classes, gym, and HW, I went to the dance event. The dancers were amazing, but the site was not. Some man actually approached us and asked to take our picture "because Americans don't come here that often." We declined. I refused to speak in English to him and told him we were not animals in a zoo. There were also just rude barrachos (drunks) and the place was overpriced. Oh well. Lesson learned. I made up for it on Saturday at my favorite salsa club. Coincidentally, my maestro (as I call my dance teacher), was there and asked me to dance. Though maybe I was a little flattered, I was more embarrassed than anything! Whatever...it was still a great night/morning! ;)
Sunday...I tried to actually do something serious. Of course, mass is wonderful...and yes, I still hope to help out with the paroquia (grade school tutoring) here. I am just too busy with my host family right now amidst everything else. When I move back to San Anton in a few weeks, maybe then I can finally do something. Oh, and I forced myself to study. I hide here in the library in the basement because the distractions are at least diminished.
That's a brief glimpse of what I do, think, and feel. I could never adequately describe the depths of my experiences and my emotions here.
LOVE,
aly
Monday, March 2, 2009
This is a long entry, and I apologize, but I am playing catch up, so please join in the game!
I am so elated right now in Mexico! I have been received into a wonderful home where I live with a woman, her husband, and her grandson (two years!). We are getting along splendidly so far, and they are adamant about me practicing and learning lots of Spanish. The first few days of full-immersion into Spanish-speaking life were a little tiring, but the results will be astounding after a whole month. I told them that I feel I have all of the knowledge of the language in my head, and I just need to use it and develop it some more...and I will! I am delighted that though my immediate family is small, much of my family lives nearby, sharing different parts of the house, and the house next door.
After mass and jumping (literally) into a parade that was celebrating the founding of our neighborhood, I had the extreme pleasure yesterday to go to Miacatlan (a small, VERY HOT, mostly agricultural town) where my host mom grew up. After cleaning house a bit, we ate a delicious lunch of nopales (grilled catcus) with sea salt and lime, guacamole with chichachron (fried pig skin which is way better than bacon!), cervezas, and of course frijoles y tortillas as we watched caballeros on horseback or with oxen, families, kids on bikes, cars pumping loud music, or the occasional tour bus drive by the house. My mom is a wonderful cook, and we bought raw masa yesterday so I am looking forward to making tortillas y gorditas al mano with her on Wednesday. We visited several family members (with their own families) who still live and work there. Having learned of my love for Mexico and the culture and people, combined with the fact that I am single, my host-family has been soliciting for a novio on my behalf to everyone we meet! The warmth and generosity of my new family is incredible. As I rode out and back in the back of the little camioneta soaking up sun in the afternoon,and taking a nap on the way home last night, I thought: These are the memories that will live on forever. This is the life that I haven't been able to live in Seattle where I am slammed by books, work, trying to keep up commitments and with my own perfectionism. How will I be able to leave all this behind and return to Seattle? I don't think about that to much right now, but I already forecast a strenuous challenge when I return. I finally feel like I fit in in a culture, in a way of life, even though so much of this is new, and so much is different from what I have known in the United States. I feel alive in a way I never have before.
We are now in full swing in our social work classes and I am SOOOOO busy still! Intensive Spanish ended last week, and now I am commuting (though it is short) back and forth, on top of keeping up appearances at the gym every day and trying to squeeze in salsa classes also. Oh, and my mom here is Catholic too, involved in base group communities, natural health remedies, and solidarity with the liberation movements of Chiapas. I know we will have much to talk about once my skills improve a bit more. My life is full and rich right now, and I am strangely not homesick at all, although I do feel badly for missing my mom's 50th birthday party this weekend. Not that I do not love my life in the U.S., not that I do not love school and life in Seattle, but I also love my life here in Mexico. I know that I am truly blessed to be here, truly blessed to have this opportunity to embrace another culture and to become one with another way of life, another extension of a united human family.
I'm sorry if it may be a bit impersonal, but time is limited, and this is part of the summary I wrote for the social work blog that our school has. It is a short summary of some of the life that went on here last week. What was not mentioned for the class blog, was the fact that I, Alysson, actually stayed out salsa-dancing until almost three o'clock in the morning Friday night-Saturday with some lovely young local men that we have befriended! But, when in Mexico: Viva la Vida!
What a whirlwind week! Day-to-day life, as usual for college students, was full to the brim. After the beautiful experience in Amatlan on Sunday, students came back to enjoy the last week together in Casa Verde. And what a week it was.
Students this week buckled down for the last week of Spanish classes at Universal. It was lots of studying, lots of talking, and lots of review. But our class also made a special trip out to Bons Café for a celebratory lunch with our professor! After it was all said and done, the exams, the presentations, the papers, Universal hosted a pool-side barbeque party for the students and staff on Friday afternoon. It was a nice way to wrap up the time spent in the classroom, and surely students will be back for some fun in the sun at the Universal pool. More than anything, students felt a little more prepared to engage in their field placements, family homestays, and the Cuernavaca community.
On Tuesday there was a orientation/class session to prepare for the transition into the four-week urban homestays. The homestay coordinator described some of the history of the area where 12 of the 19 social work students would be living. The students who are not living near us having been placed in areas close to their fieldwork placements, and still are not far from reach. However, the social work students who are living in the Lagunilla community were delighted to hear that they would be living near one another, and would be able to share the bus-rides and cab-drives to and from school or other outings. During the discussion we divided into groups, each which focused on a different topic (i.e. roles in the family) to be addressed to aid the transition. Then one student from each of the four groups represented the topics as a member of the “Panel of Experts” where the information was dispersed and questions were fielded. The picture above shows some of the students on break, about to present in the panel.
Lab group this week provided time to learn about the history of immigration policy in the United States of America. More importantly, each student shared their own immigration story of their family coming to the United States of America by writing a small summary and placing it appropriately on a timeline of important dates in American immigration history. This history was also shared in a group session and later, there was a small group exercise to help stimulate reflection and discussion about different obstacles to and themes of immigration to the U.S.A., both historically and presently. Besides learning more about one another and U.S. policy trends, the students were more aware of the urgency in addressing fair legislation and immigration policy reform. Furthermore, brought to the forefront was the fact that America as a whole is a country of immigrants, and each of us has a family history of immigration.
Besides focusing on our Spanish finals, and trying to enjoy our time together as a large group living under one roof in Casa Verde, we were also trying to prepare for our homestays. The transition is not only back into family life, but also into even more immediate contact with Mexican culture. On Saturday, we joined in the morning to meet our new host-families. We sat and shared a bit of ourselves with one another over breakfast, sharing the basics of our background and expectations and hopes for the experience. Packed into the dining room of Casa Cemal were 19 new families, and yet all together one large family of social workers in Cuernavaca! While nerves may have been heightened as we embarked on a new part of this journey, hopes and enthusiasm were even higher! Each student was warmly received by their new family, who expressed their desire for us to be comfortable, happy, and to learn and EAT a lot.
More than anything, I feel this week has truly been about living in the present, and living life to the fullest. Our history is important; it bears onto reality of today and the decisions for a better tomorrow. However, life is happening presently, and being in Mexico is a wonderful environment for us, as students, to practice the delicate balance that is the dance of life. We are challenged to be present to our studies, to our families at home, to each other as a cohort, to our new families in Mexico, and to the greater culture here. While sometimes it can feel as though we are spread thin, in taking account of the many opportunities and experiences we have as individuals and as a group, I conclude that we are truly blessed to have such rich and full lives.
Peace and Blessing to You All
I am so elated right now in Mexico! I have been received into a wonderful home where I live with a woman, her husband, and her grandson (two years!). We are getting along splendidly so far, and they are adamant about me practicing and learning lots of Spanish. The first few days of full-immersion into Spanish-speaking life were a little tiring, but the results will be astounding after a whole month. I told them that I feel I have all of the knowledge of the language in my head, and I just need to use it and develop it some more...and I will! I am delighted that though my immediate family is small, much of my family lives nearby, sharing different parts of the house, and the house next door.
After mass and jumping (literally) into a parade that was celebrating the founding of our neighborhood, I had the extreme pleasure yesterday to go to Miacatlan (a small, VERY HOT, mostly agricultural town) where my host mom grew up. After cleaning house a bit, we ate a delicious lunch of nopales (grilled catcus) with sea salt and lime, guacamole with chichachron (fried pig skin which is way better than bacon!), cervezas, and of course frijoles y tortillas as we watched caballeros on horseback or with oxen, families, kids on bikes, cars pumping loud music, or the occasional tour bus drive by the house. My mom is a wonderful cook, and we bought raw masa yesterday so I am looking forward to making tortillas y gorditas al mano with her on Wednesday. We visited several family members (with their own families) who still live and work there. Having learned of my love for Mexico and the culture and people, combined with the fact that I am single, my host-family has been soliciting for a novio on my behalf to everyone we meet! The warmth and generosity of my new family is incredible. As I rode out and back in the back of the little camioneta soaking up sun in the afternoon,and taking a nap on the way home last night, I thought: These are the memories that will live on forever. This is the life that I haven't been able to live in Seattle where I am slammed by books, work, trying to keep up commitments and with my own perfectionism. How will I be able to leave all this behind and return to Seattle? I don't think about that to much right now, but I already forecast a strenuous challenge when I return. I finally feel like I fit in in a culture, in a way of life, even though so much of this is new, and so much is different from what I have known in the United States. I feel alive in a way I never have before.
We are now in full swing in our social work classes and I am SOOOOO busy still! Intensive Spanish ended last week, and now I am commuting (though it is short) back and forth, on top of keeping up appearances at the gym every day and trying to squeeze in salsa classes also. Oh, and my mom here is Catholic too, involved in base group communities, natural health remedies, and solidarity with the liberation movements of Chiapas. I know we will have much to talk about once my skills improve a bit more. My life is full and rich right now, and I am strangely not homesick at all, although I do feel badly for missing my mom's 50th birthday party this weekend. Not that I do not love my life in the U.S., not that I do not love school and life in Seattle, but I also love my life here in Mexico. I know that I am truly blessed to be here, truly blessed to have this opportunity to embrace another culture and to become one with another way of life, another extension of a united human family.
I'm sorry if it may be a bit impersonal, but time is limited, and this is part of the summary I wrote for the social work blog that our school has. It is a short summary of some of the life that went on here last week. What was not mentioned for the class blog, was the fact that I, Alysson, actually stayed out salsa-dancing until almost three o'clock in the morning Friday night-Saturday with some lovely young local men that we have befriended! But, when in Mexico: Viva la Vida!
What a whirlwind week! Day-to-day life, as usual for college students, was full to the brim. After the beautiful experience in Amatlan on Sunday, students came back to enjoy the last week together in Casa Verde. And what a week it was.
Students this week buckled down for the last week of Spanish classes at Universal. It was lots of studying, lots of talking, and lots of review. But our class also made a special trip out to Bons Café for a celebratory lunch with our professor! After it was all said and done, the exams, the presentations, the papers, Universal hosted a pool-side barbeque party for the students and staff on Friday afternoon. It was a nice way to wrap up the time spent in the classroom, and surely students will be back for some fun in the sun at the Universal pool. More than anything, students felt a little more prepared to engage in their field placements, family homestays, and the Cuernavaca community.
On Tuesday there was a orientation/class session to prepare for the transition into the four-week urban homestays. The homestay coordinator described some of the history of the area where 12 of the 19 social work students would be living. The students who are not living near us having been placed in areas close to their fieldwork placements, and still are not far from reach. However, the social work students who are living in the Lagunilla community were delighted to hear that they would be living near one another, and would be able to share the bus-rides and cab-drives to and from school or other outings. During the discussion we divided into groups, each which focused on a different topic (i.e. roles in the family) to be addressed to aid the transition. Then one student from each of the four groups represented the topics as a member of the “Panel of Experts” where the information was dispersed and questions were fielded. The picture above shows some of the students on break, about to present in the panel.
Lab group this week provided time to learn about the history of immigration policy in the United States of America. More importantly, each student shared their own immigration story of their family coming to the United States of America by writing a small summary and placing it appropriately on a timeline of important dates in American immigration history. This history was also shared in a group session and later, there was a small group exercise to help stimulate reflection and discussion about different obstacles to and themes of immigration to the U.S.A., both historically and presently. Besides learning more about one another and U.S. policy trends, the students were more aware of the urgency in addressing fair legislation and immigration policy reform. Furthermore, brought to the forefront was the fact that America as a whole is a country of immigrants, and each of us has a family history of immigration.
Besides focusing on our Spanish finals, and trying to enjoy our time together as a large group living under one roof in Casa Verde, we were also trying to prepare for our homestays. The transition is not only back into family life, but also into even more immediate contact with Mexican culture. On Saturday, we joined in the morning to meet our new host-families. We sat and shared a bit of ourselves with one another over breakfast, sharing the basics of our background and expectations and hopes for the experience. Packed into the dining room of Casa Cemal were 19 new families, and yet all together one large family of social workers in Cuernavaca! While nerves may have been heightened as we embarked on a new part of this journey, hopes and enthusiasm were even higher! Each student was warmly received by their new family, who expressed their desire for us to be comfortable, happy, and to learn and EAT a lot.
More than anything, I feel this week has truly been about living in the present, and living life to the fullest. Our history is important; it bears onto reality of today and the decisions for a better tomorrow. However, life is happening presently, and being in Mexico is a wonderful environment for us, as students, to practice the delicate balance that is the dance of life. We are challenged to be present to our studies, to our families at home, to each other as a cohort, to our new families in Mexico, and to the greater culture here. While sometimes it can feel as though we are spread thin, in taking account of the many opportunities and experiences we have as individuals and as a group, I conclude that we are truly blessed to have such rich and full lives.
Peace and Blessing to You All
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